Cubicle Neatness
The company that I work for has already implemented a “code of neatness”. Believe me, it has not been a good policy at all! Many of the employees have had to stay late or work extra hours during the week just to keep their desks neat and clean. It is nearly impossible to keep a desk neat when you, as an employee, need access to so many different materials throughout the day and have not been provided adequate shelving to store those materials…except on your desk. Unfortunately for me, I was not keeping my desk as neat as management wanted so they decided to do something about it. The below letter is what I found on my desk when I arrived at work one day. (I have removed my company’s name and my name. I am so embarrassed.)
THE NEATNESS POLICE
Policing Neatness Since 1980
May 6, 2008
Dear Ms.
The “Neatness Police” have once again visited your desk and are pleased to announce that your desk is much neater now than during our previous visit. However, you still have a way to go before you are taken off our ‘watch list’. If at any time we see that the neatness level of your desk has once again plummeted to the depths of depravity, as was observed on our first visit to your desk, we will be forced to place you on our list of subjects destined for electric shock therapy. This electric shock therapy will be administered without your informed consent because any increase in depravity on your part is full proof of your inability to recognize what is good for you as a person.
Our wish for you is that you not only continue in your efforts to maintain a neat desk but that you happily increase your efforts. Perhaps when others see how far you have come in your recognition that no other value in life is as great as “neatness”, you will feel pride in modeling the best behavior that we, the Neatness Police, hold dear.
Sincerely,
CJ Strummer
First Lieutenant
Miami Division
