Catch the Spin

What You Need to do When Someone Chokes at Your House This Year at Thanksgiving

1.      Stay Sharp! Move swiftly from side to side and remember that victims ALWAYS panic and intentionally strike out.  They will try to hit you so be prepared to hit back.  Think of this as a friendly boxing competition and be prepared to level your opponent. 

2.      The first blow should be hard and directly to the victim’s throat.  Once you establish that the victim is choking hit quick and hard!  

3.      Stand in front of the victim when delivering the punch to the throat.  Once the throat punch is administered move quickly behind the victim and deliver a blow to the center of the victim’s back.   

4.      Once you have delivered the punch to the center of the victim’s back, wrap your hands around the victim’s throat and apply firm pressure (as if giving a bear hug).

5.      Make a fist with your right hand and strike it firmly on the back of the victim’s neck.  This move should dislodge any bones or wood that may be lodged in the victim’s throat.

6.      If the victim is still choking, grab the victim with your left hand and turn them to face you while thrusting your fist inwards and upwards forcefully to the stomach.

7.      Repeat steps (1-6) until the victim is able to breathe again, or until the victim is pronounced dead (whichever comes first).

It takes practice to perfect this technique.  I would suggest getting a close friend or family member to agree in advance to letting you practice on them.  It would be better to have properly trained for the choking than to just sit back and watch helplessly as a loved one chokes to death.